Tuesday, 8 December 2020

What if Santa gets COVID-19?

The Most Imminent Threat on Earth 

#Breaking News! I hate to be the bearer of it but here goes!

Reliable sources are telling me that very soon an event of colossal import will occur. One single individual will fly to and physically enter every household on the entire globe spending several minutes during the night inside these closed spaces. This event is irreversible and will occur on December 25. The subject is male, was last seen wearing a bright red outfit and hides behind a full beard, moustache and bushy hair, all completely snow white.

Imagine the dire possibilities here:

1. Any powerful nation could have already infected this individual with the deadly Covid-19 virus. He will unknowingly expose every living person on earth to it. Notice the timing - about two weeks from now when symptoms will probably peak.

2. If this person is not currently carrying the virus, he will most certainly be exposed to it and be infected by it in those households. Although asymptomatic at that point, he is known to have a chronic, severe, coughing habit involving involuntary and loud 'HO-HO-HOs' thus expelling the virus into every person's abode after inhaling it himself.

3. Although he might not have yet been exposed himself, he is reputed to rule over an army of small people who work all year manufacturing toys including 2020. The chance of one of these beings also being a carrier is high because they are known to be migrant workers. The subject distributes this merchandise to all of the aforementioned households. Touching one of them could cause infection.

4. Once again with evil intent, any terrorist could infect the individual with the virus because he is also said to digest milk and cookies in each household. What could be simpler? It could not be traced.

This is like knowing that we are about to be hit by a giant asteroid - a certain apocalypse.

What can be done? I put this to the American government.

The Trump administration is denying it as fake news. Unofficially they hinted that they know his identity (although they insist that Obama did not) and as the most powerful nation on earth, if it is true they would simply blow the man out of the sky before he reaches America.

Biden and his people are suggesting negotiating with him BEFORE his flight. The problem is that Trump's people won't share any intelligence they have until next year. Joe has already delegated this to Kamala and suggested she work with Fauci immediately.

Trump's base maintains that if he wears that much red including a cap, they don't give a damn. They swear that Donald has it under control and that only he knows the man is actually an OK guy despite what his Generals are telling him.

The Russians and the Chinese deny any knowledge of this hinting that he is actually a CIA agent. 

The North Koreans want us to believe that he is actually one of their robot agents and is programmed to visit America first.

There is only one strategy that will certainly work. Wear a mask everywhere
 including your home until well into 2021. Oh yes, and sleep in December 26 to let the household air replenish itself. That's my plan and I'm sticking to it.


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