Saturday, 24 October 2020

First Gentleman Does Not Sound Cool

What If Kamala Becomes President?

A bit premature but what if Kamala is President some day? It is entirely possible. Many Trump voters claimed they just wanted to shake up the establishment - clear the swamp. They got Donald J. Trump as a result. America also elected its first black President. Why not black AND female? That would surely shake the branches. I think America needs this.

That is not really today's topic. The question has been asked what her husband would be called since this situation would be unique. The usual response is "First Gentleman". Really? Does that even sound American? Would he want that? When it was possible for Bill Clinton to return to the White House in this capacity there were jokes about "First Dude!" I liked it.

Here are some other suggestions:
  • The Man About The (White) House
  • First House Spouse
  • The First Daddy (as in who's my …)
  • The First Partner (then any same sex couple could be in the White House)
  • The Pants in the Family
  • Adam (The First Man)
  • The President's Squeeze
  • SPOTUS (Spouse of The President of The United States)
  • The First Lay Person (Insulted? Get a life. Chill out.)
  • TPOH (The President's Other Half)
  • The First ----y Whipped
  • The First ... What's His Name
  • Kamala's … you know … hubby
  • The Duke of Washington!
  • How about The First Guy. Simple

Now there is the another aspect. Every First Lady has a cause she supports. There is also a tradition of re-doing the White House - furnishings; portraits; drapery; china etc. What is this First Guy supposed to do?

Will the White House look like a Hooters bar? Any other roadhouse or sports bar? Will there be a large screen TV in every room? How about beer coolers? Will the walls be panelled in wood with recliner chairs everywhere? What about BBQs for the mandatory steak grilling and a workshop and tools? The transformation could be dramatic. Expect a lot of leather! Better have an armour plated Porsche ready or maybe a pickup truck. Forget a cutsie lap dog - Rottweiler or bigger.

As far as causes go who knows? Helping older generation golfers improve their score sounds good - to me anyway. I don't see gardening or museums in the picture. Furthering the health and fitness of Americans would be a good one - from a soft couch. Reduce cushions everywhere? American men against bed making? Beer stamps OR food stamps - your choice. On a serious note reducing the number of men who renege on alimony or child support would get kudos. How about "Forever Standing" devoted to eradicate erectile dysfunction everywhere? 

The possibilities are endless.

One thing for sure. When The President enters the White House bedroom after a long day and gets touchy feely, there will be far fewer "Sorry dear - I have a headache" responses.


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