Thursday, 31 January 2019

Something(s) to Think About

I am no Will Rogers or Mark Twain but I gave it My Best

Brewster Babble: 
  1. I had life by the tail. Then I lifted it and had my first look at reality.
  2. If God really wanted us to reform our ways we would all have a reset button instead of a belly button.
  3. With my luck every time I extend the glass to decide if it is half empty or half full I can't find my glasses.
  4. Life is just a bowl of cherries until you eat the last one. Then it's just the pits.
  5. My wife said she wanted foreplay, so I invited over two of her friends and now she is pissed at me.
  6. I got one of those four hour Viagra erections but my partner says I paid three hours and fifty-seven seconds too much.
  7. Surely one of the worst human defects is when a person's brain is in their ass and all their crap comes out of their mouth. Think of anyone in particular?
  8. Fortune favours the bold - and their mistresses!
  9. If birds of a feather do stick together does that make them racists?
  10. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Good Advice, but I'm broke and you can fix me anytime you want.
  11. Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder - and hornier!
  12. I am trying to be less critical of others and it really is helping me realize how stupid some people are.
  13. People who live in White Houses should not throw Tweets
  14. My partner asked if her dress made her look fat. I asked if I could blame my beer gut on my pants. Now she won't speak to me. Women!
  15. The early bird gets the first position at the Costco gas pumps.
  16. Old saying updated: Take your eyeglasses off first then give your head a shake!
  17. Why would I want a tat? Mother Nature already creates a new marking somewhere on my body every day and it's totally free.
  18. People who live in White Houses should not throw Tweets.
  19. I wish the person who said "A picture is worth a thousand words" could have seen the smart phone. Now it's thousands of pictures and sadly, no words.
  20. God helps those who help themselves. Even DJT? Now I know why I am not particularly religious.

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