I am no Will Rogers or Mark Twain but I gave it My Best
Brewster Babble:
- I had life by the tail. Then I lifted it and had my first look at reality.
- If God really wanted us to reform our ways we would all have a reset button instead of a belly button.
- With my luck every time I extend the glass to decide if it is half empty or half full I can't find my glasses.
- Life is just a bowl of cherries until you eat the last one. Then it's just the pits.
- My wife said she wanted foreplay, so I invited over two of her friends and now she is pissed at me.
- I got one of those four hour Viagra erections but my partner says I paid three hours and fifty-seven seconds too much.
- Surely one of the worst human defects is when a person's brain is in their ass and all their crap comes out of their mouth. Think of anyone in particular?
- Fortune favours the bold - and their mistresses!
- If birds of a feather do stick together does that make them racists?
- If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Good Advice, but I'm broke and you can fix me anytime you want.
- Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder - and hornier!
- I am trying to be less critical of others and it really is helping me realize how stupid some people are.
- People who live in White Houses should not throw Tweets
- My partner asked if her dress made her look fat. I asked if I could blame my beer gut on my pants. Now she won't speak to me. Women!
- The early bird gets the first position at the Costco gas pumps.
- Old saying updated: Take your eyeglasses off first then give your head a shake!
- Why would I want a tat? Mother Nature already creates a new marking somewhere on my body every day and it's totally free.
- People who live in White Houses should not throw Tweets.
- I wish the person who said "A picture is worth a thousand words" could have seen the smart phone. Now it's thousands of pictures and sadly, no words.
- God helps those who help themselves. Even DJT? Now I know why I am not particularly religious.
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