Sunday, 15 August 2021

On Being North of 50

Where is that reset / reboot button for life?

I am writing this not to bore you with the details of my life although I am sure I will but hopefully to stimulate similar thoughts for you. You should not live in the past but a little reminiscing is just fine.

Which birthday did you revere or resent the most - or any other birthday? My 10th was apparently a non-event. I recall nothing about it.

For most kids I suspect - certainly for me - one was my 13th. Becoming a teenager was a big one. Teenagers were always the "older" kids. It meant that in the summer I could attend teenage dances at our cottage. The problem was that most kids in my class were 1-2 years older than me. So when my time came, it was a "been there - done that" for any friends.

At 16 I could drive and I did. At 18 I could enter a pool hall and go to the USA to drink (from Canada), and for me it was my introduction to sex. Perhaps that alone makes it one of the biggest. It is also the age of majority in Ontario, but I did not feel like an adult yet. I should note thankfully that I was not conscripted and sent off to war either.

20th just meant in one more year I would be 21. In my case I also graduated from university at 21 and drank 21+1 draft beers without losing my cookies! Back then they were much bigger glasses, and cost a wopping 25 cents. It was a contest and I passed it. My best friend failed 9 months earlier.

My biggie was becoming 21. Then I could legally drink and buy alcohol. I had already become an adult but somehow this one meant I was not a kid anymore - no excuses.

Thirty seemed like a big one - it always does. Before that however, from 21 to 30 I led the life of an overactive but often lonely bachelor. It happened to be the year I met my partner and we have been together ever since. Mostly I recall attending her brother in law's 50th birthday and thinking: "Wow - he is old. Some day I will get there!" So he was twenty years my senior. Now my 50th was over twenty-five years ago - scary.

Forty was another biggie but somehow not as big as thirty. People often buy you a forty ouncer of booze. We had already moved into a house and that has occupied most of my spare time since.

As already mentioned, the big "50" for someone else was the one when I recalled thinking: "Wow - he is old. Some day I will get there!" My partner arranged a secret surprise birthday and had gone through many of my files (not good) to find names of people she really didn't know. I was astonished when I had parked the car and walked into this banquet hall - she really pulled it off well. She had me thinking it was to be just family. I was astonished. In the pictures, to me I still didn't "look" 50 but maybe my view is somewhat slanted!

And that brings me to 60 and 70. Somehow these were two more non-events - just indications that indeed time marches on at an amazing pace. My next 10th will be 80 and yes, that one is a biggie. For most men their horizon after that is questionable. Supposedly they don't live as long as women but I always said that was voluntary on our part!

My mom lived to be 100 and my dad almost 83. I hope I have her life genes.

Now in retirement I look back. That is what this post is all about. There are so many things I wished I had done differently. Perhaps one sign of a successful life is that  you would not have changed anything. That does not say much about mine.

Just had a silly thought: I always joked that I wish there were a reset / reboot button for life. One accepted symbol is now the circle with a vertical stroke from its centre to 12:00 (see below). Kind of resembles a navel - a useless part of the body after birth.

There you go. Perhaps the navel was supposed to have been our reset button - only to be used once. This was way before Steve Jobs. He never would have had a button - even a belly button. OK. How many of you are looking at yours? Don't bother. It doesn't work!

#thebrewsterblock

Friday, 13 August 2021

Did You Keep Score When You Were Young?

3 Lies you can count on: Age; Golf score; Number of Partners

Of the 3 lies in the title, the 3rd is the topic of this post.

Do you know how many partners you had (the "got lucky" ones) before you were married - or after - or still if you never tied the knot? 

This post was triggered by some reading about the great Wilt the Stilt Chamberlain (basketball) who claimed he slept with 20,000 women during his career. That is a different woman every day for 55 years. Credible? I don't think so. Many attribute over 3,000 to Julio Iglesias. That is every night for eight years. Perhaps that was possible over his entire career. Elvis probably was way up there as well.

Long ago for the very religious it was supposed to be none. I'm not very religious! For bachelors it is the opposite of a golf score. The dishonest add to their score unlike golf where they shave numbers from their score. Do women? I'm not sure. Maybe they discuss their past lovers with friends but the double standard has always applied - if they brag about too many partners they are called nasty names.

I was the worst of all combinations - a late starter and then a long time bachelor who tried to make up for lost time. I'm pretty certain of the number but will keep that to myself. I seldom went all the way just to carve another notch in the bedpost. Things just happened but I have to admit I spent a lot of time looking for the opportunity. 
 For me, "No" always meant no long before it became a catch phrase.

The tragic thing back then was that this cost me the one young woman who was probably my perfect match. Details have to remain secret. I will never forget her and wonder if she forgot me. In hindsight, marriage would have been a better option for me long ago in my early twenties but I stupidly let her get away. On the bright side I never would have met my current partner had I asked the one who seemed perfect for me back then, but I spent a lot of years feeling sorry for myself before meeting my lady.

I don't recall a female celebrity boasting about any specific number at all. That says a lot about the differences between men and women. There are those who went through many marriages but the press made bragging unnecessary.

I still remember my first partner - what a disaster - for her anyway - front seat of a '63 Pontiac. I highly recommend the back seat as a better choice. A lot of time passed before the second. I seem to have been attracted to more virtuous girls or women. Just like Clinton - "never had sexual relations with that woman" - the build-up and surrounding activities but not the real deal.

It was only after university that I realized what I had been missing. I blame what friends I had - most of them got married! I would re-visit old mates to go for a drink but their wives were never happy about it.

So can you remember your history - in sequence? What about names and how you met? How you broke up? Are you really honest with yourselves about who gave the elbow and who received it?

Do you even think about this topic? I bet you do.

#thebrewsterblock




Wednesday, 11 August 2021

Best Vaccination: Laugh at Yourself!

 

Where did all the girls go?

After turning twenty one,

I bought a brand new car.

A sports job with a five speed box,

And glances from afar.


No Triumph, Sprite, or MGB

Too commonplace you see.

I found the Fiat 1-2-4

Sport Spyder was for me!


At every light some one would say

"I really like your car!"

Positano Yellow you could 

Spot it from afar.


For girls it was a magnet.

How could I ask for more?

On sunny days with soft top down

It even would seat four.


Although those days were long ago.

They seem like yesterday.

I wonder if I had one now

Would I still feel that way?


My other half still harbors the

Convertible allure.

With modern folding hard tops they're

Much better that's for sure.


She loved the new Miata so

I bought one as a gift.

With automatic I still miss

My rapid five speed shift.


For sure this Mazda goes Zoom Zoom, 

But I don't feel as free..

It's bumpy, noisy, small and so

I always bang my knee.


Getting in is difficult

But with the sun o'er head,

I think about the beach and of 

The care free life I led.


If I Zoomed by you today

You might have heard me shout.

"Please call 9-1-1 for me -

You see I can't get out!"


#thebrewsterblock